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How Can I Convince My Parents?! Please Help!!!!

Discussion in 'Snakes - General' started by Hkg, May 13, 2014.

  1. Hkg

    Hkg Elite Member

    Okay. So to start off, please don't call me ungrateful or selfish or anything like that. Hear me out! And I know this isn't the place to ask this but I have no where else to ask, and I need advice. I'm 15 years old. I know I'm young and I hope there isn't a age requirement on here cause I love this site. 2 years ago my science teacher gave me her corn snake. It's a good thing I took her in because it was very neglected and on the verge of death. But I nursed her back. And she is doing perfect!!! I rescued a boa on Sunday May 4 2014. He was also neglected. They gave him no heat, no humidity, no hide box, left the cage dirty and fed him once a month. I have reason to believe that he has RI and something else wrong with him. I will be scheduling a vet appointment tomorrow (they are closed now). I will do my absolute best to nurse him back to health. I will pay all the money I have to keep him alive. I give my snakes the best of care, I always have sense I got my corn. And I always will. Sense I am 15 I am limited to the jobs I can have. Currently I ref soccer and I am filling out applications for a burger joint and a car wash. So I can provide for my snakes and more. I have always bought everything for my snakes. My parents have never helped with anything to do with my snakes other than energy bill and I have never asked them to buy any supplies or anything for me. So what I need help with is convincing my parents to let me rescue and have more reptiles. I am very responsible when it comes to my animals (I only have 2 snakes no other animals. I use to own a dog but my dad got rid of him and said I could get more animals to replace him but he retracted that statement) I have researched reptiles for 4 years. It's my only passion! I have gone through tons of fazes. Like skateboarding, rapping, dirt bikes etc... All of them I thought were my calling. But they never lasted more than a week. Reptiles are the only thing I have retained a interest in and always will have that interest. I have never wanted to invest all my money, and time, and LIFE TO ANY THING other than reptiles. The only way I will go to college is if it's for herpetology or to be a reptile vet of some sort. I think you get the point. I'm dedicated to snakes. There are sooo many big neglected snakes on Craigslist around me. Or they don't even have to be neglected, if they are rehomed to someone who doesn't know what they are doing they'll probably become neglected. So I feel it is better that I take them in and save them, and the people who don't know what they're getting into, wallets. Does that make sense? My parents don't want me to have more than one snake in the house. If I have to I'll build a small shed that is perfect for keeping my snakes. I'll help pay the electricity bill. I'll do anything. What can I do?! I really want this. I know what I'm getting into.
     
  2. DwarvenChef

    DwarvenChef Elite Member

    I feel your frustration, but I didn't try to do it the right way myself :p I waited till they caught me at it... the rattlesnakes pushed that over the edge :p long story LOL

    However you are going about this the right way so far. My suggestion is to plan out costs, time, GRADES, and alternative conditions if things go sideways. You would be amazed at how a structured argument presented by their child will put them off their game :p The trick is adhering to any and all provisions set forth in your plea for your case.

    My grades always got better when I converted the topic to reptiles or fish and worked it out.
     
  3. MorganLeFay

    MorganLeFay Elite Member

    Be rational and have a well-mannered, grown-up talk about it. Tell them all the practicalities, get them familiar with snakes, and show them that you really know how to care for them. Let them know that you are responsible and will take good care of the animals, and they won't need to get involved (that's worked for me, lol). Tell them exactly how you feel about snakes and what you want to do in the future. Your parents don't want to shatter your dreams, they want you to be happy in life. They are probably worried either that they'll have to take of the snakes or that you won't have time for learning, or they are simply a bit apprehensive about them. Reassure them on each point. Be cool and rational about it. Show them that you are able to take on responsibilities like an adult. Tell them that your passion for reptiles won't interfere with your school, this will reassure them that you know what you're doing.
    At the same time, you need to be realistic. You won't be able to take care of all the neglected snakes in the world, no matter how much you may want to, even if you build a facility for them. Maybe once you've started earning money regularly, you can set up something like a shelter/adoption centre for unwanted reptiles? Remember that setting up any buisness is a costly process and not something that can be covered by your current earnings. You must be patient. For the time being, take good care of the reptiles you already have. That's the most important thing. There's no point in having too many reptiles, even if they are rescues, if you don't have the time or resources to care for them properly. It's great that you have such a passion, though:) Keep it up:)
     
  4. Darkbird

    Darkbird Moderator Staff Member

    Most of what I would have said has already been voiced, so I won't repeat good advice. Much. You really can't save them all, believe me I've tried. There is also one very serious consideration no one has brought up yet that you very much need to keep in mind. If you plan to go to college at all, most will not allow pets. In 3 or so years you will be facing a situation where you may need to rehome your animals so you can get into a dorm and get that veterinary degree, with a minor in herpetology or whatever. And I'm betting I know what your thinking; "If I cant take my snakes I won't go." Take it from someone who made that exact mistake. It's been a long hard struggle for me to get to the point in my life where I can have what animals I want, and help some in need. Well to a certain extent anyway . I'd need a good size zoo to do everything I'd want. Point is, the odds of you getting to that point in your life will be a lot better if you take the time to get that degree. And hey, sorry if I came off sounding a bit like a school counselor for a minute, you just reminded me a lot of myself at that age. At least your parents are a little supportive, my dad, until the day he died, was a "the only good snake is a dead one" type, and wouldn't even let me have a pet turtle.

    Edit: Now that I think on it a minute, the whole colledge thing could be part of the reasoning of your parents too. Part of that well thought out plan should be what you will do when that time comes, assure them they won't be stuck with your animals. Maybe reasearch colledges that are pet friendly and can get you the education you need/want.
     
    Last edited: May 13, 2014
  5. avagaddis

    avagaddis Well-Known Member

    Im fifteen too, and i feel the same way! it took a lot of convincing for my parents to let me take in all my animals, but the key is patience and maturity! you have to clean up around the house, do all your chores, anything your parents ask you to do!! Show them how dedicated you are to animals, and you can do this in a number of ways. I put photos of animals i wanted all over the house lol. In the fridge, cabinets, drawers, in their bedrooms..This will show how bad you want the pets. Also what i did is i tried super hard to get the best grades possible. If you dont have good grades then they wont see any reason in getting you a pet to keep you even more unfocused from school. Not saying u have bad grades lol, but u get the point. Also, you have to spend as much time possible with your curret snakes (im sure u do already!) so that theyll know how much dedication you'll put into more snakes.

    However, just imagine, you'll be going to college soon..You may be put in a dorm that allows small pets or something, but the chances are slim. You cant not go to college just because you cant bring the snakes..And im sure your parents will not want to care for them. You should maybe wait till your out of college to build the shed. Who will take care of all the pets? I know for a fact, without even knowing your family that your mom WILL NOT. haha its a fact. I want to be a vet too, but if you dont go to college because you cant bring the snakes, itll never happen! Maybe take some time to consider your options..
     
  6. CrazySnakeLady

    CrazySnakeLady Elite Member

    Everyone has voiced exactly how you should go with this, maturity and patience. I've used the same stuff Avagaddis stated, and my parents have allowed 5 of my own reptiles, and I still foster on top of that(but that's it). Again, college is a big issue. But also remember, neglected big snakes can have damaging bites and with no one else taking interest, how can you ensure yours and the snake's safety? That's obviously something to really consider, along with the fact of caring for them in the first place.

    It's (sadly) your parent's house. They may simply not want the increase in electric bill or deal with the stink that we all know snakes can generate. One day you'll be able to own as many snakes as you can, but in these almost college years - college years, you shouldn't. It's the sucky reality of being 15 and loving reptiles. We feel your pain.
     
  7. Merlin

    Merlin Administrator Staff Member Premium Member

    Something else that is not being addressed. Reptile rescues are a money pit! It can get very expensive very quickly.
    You say that you have very limited funds to work with. You can't just throw a shed together to house the animals. That will also require heating and air conditioning equipment and that is not cheap. Rescuing reptiles or any animal you have to plan on major vet bills showing up, due to improper care or just plain illness. Also as you said you have had a tendency to change hobbies frequently. Your folks are likely looking at the possibility of this happening once again. With a houseful of animals!
    You also have to find out about ordinances. Many places will limit the number of animals you can have on non commercial property.

    I am sure that your heart is in the right place but you may very well just have to put your plan on hold until you are out on your own.
     
  8. aromatherapykim

    aromatherapykim Elite Member

    Growing up I always wanted a chameleon. I would put together paperwork and power points and presentations to show my family why I should be able to have one. I was raised by my grandparents who had gone through raising my dad and his chicken, monkeys, and random venomous spiders and snakes he would collect and they would find later (copperhead in his closet and black widow after she had babies all over his room). Their answer was no, they had been through it before and didn't want to do it again. Around 16 I pushed the want to the back of my mind and never saw it as a possibility. A year ago at 22 I was finally in a position with time money and space that the want came back and I got my first reptile, a leopard tortoise. In the past year I've added 10 other critters for a total of 11 (just brought two blue tongue skinks home yesterday).
    I remember the sorrow I felt of not getting my chameleon then but I look back and see to have animals to the capacity I do I couldn't have done it without my full time income and all the time I have outside of work that doesn't have to be dedicated to school or other obligations.
    I'm not saying give up at all. I'm just saying at this point your family has the final say. If they don't want you to add more now take the time to focus on your snake you do have, learn everything you can, love him. See if you have a local exotic pet store or herp society and join or spend time with them. I still go to our local exotic pet store atleast once a week to see what's in. I have created friendships with the store staff and learn so much from them and It helps give me an idea of what I'm Interested in next.
    Sorry to be long winded, hope this helps.
     
  9. jaydsr2887

    jaydsr2887 Elite Member

    Something I'm wondering is if you have no job yet how are you caring for them at this moment? Just curious..... and reptiles are weird to slot of older people and even a good bit of younger who don't or haven't been around them a lot.... so slot of people get the heeby jeebys from then especially snakes..... reptile care and lobbying has never been in the mainstream like it is today..... so like darkbird said put schooling first and show your parents that your priorities are in order and right now just do as they say and work at it a little and just do what you need to do and just don't pressure the subject..... hey I'm Still working at my fiance to let me get a sulcata tortoise.... lol
     
  10. Hkg

    Hkg Elite Member

    Well I red soccer right now. I was "promoted" to a bigger field were I get paid more cause I have more hours. I work 8 hours on Saturday, 2 hours on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. So I get paid about 8.25 a hour. And I have always saved money. I don't spend much unless it's on snakes. When I got my corn I spent $200 on just decor. I have money saved up and more coming in (I'm not bragging. I'm just stating that sense I was a kid I have saved.)

    thanks every one for the advice!!! It means a lot!!!
    Im going to keep at it. As for college. My older sister is in college and the dorms were super expensive. So she has her own apartment and my parents said I'll have the same. So I can have a few snakes and such. I plan on going to WSU (Washington state) cause I hear their animal education is pretty good. And I live like 3 hours away.
     
  11. jaydsr2887

    jaydsr2887 Elite Member

    But having more.then 2 or 3 can get very expensive.... just having one iguana (a mercury vapor bulb, a heat lamp (ceramic heat emitter), heat mat (during winter for under her pillow set on low), a humidifier..... drove my electric bill up a lot.... and you also got to take measures for if your power goes out what are you going to do..... and what if you have nobody to watch them when your on spring break or winter break... how will you transport or care them being 3 hrs away....... just a few things to think about before you get your mind made up and get too deep into the animals.... I had to take my iguana with me on my vacation to Louisiana..... I had a hard time finding an iguana (reptile) friendly motel.......
     

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