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Watch me tame the beasts!

Discussion in 'Member Photos' started by KrokadilyanGuy3, Nov 11, 2004.

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  1. KrokadilyanGuy3

    KrokadilyanGuy3 Elite Member

    Not a herp but fun either way. By the way, I didn't have food in my hand so now.. Now, I lack a hand..
    Zane
    [​IMG]
     
  2. furryscaly

    furryscaly Elite Member

    That's so cool! I once got about that close to a squirrel once. He was really young though, so he didn't lknow any better. I didn't stick my hand out though. Snake and dog bites are one thing, but I can't stand rodent bites. Cool pic Zane. :D
     
  3. fo0d

    fo0d Member

    Nice pic. A **** squirrel bit me once. I kicked it 5 yards. Maybe it was a field goal.

    No I didnt actually kick it. Should have though :D
     
  4. Jay DeMore

    Jay DeMore Elite Member

    That picture is nuts!
     
  5. Merlin

    Merlin Administrator Staff Member Premium Member

    Looks like a vicious one to me! You're lucky you escaped with your life! ;)
     
  6. Hebidoshi

    Hebidoshi Elite Member

    The squirrels at this park I used to go to would launch themselves at your head if you didn't have food for them..

    .. I was traumatized as a child, yes, I was.
     
  7. KrokadilyanGuy3

    KrokadilyanGuy3 Elite Member

    lol, Great stuff.
     
  8. SKULLMAN

    SKULLMAN Elite Member

    you should be careful,they been know to kill a man in a blink of an eye.LOL
     
  9. mkelleriu

    mkelleriu New Member

  10. SpeacilK

    SpeacilK Elite Member

    squeirlls are trained killers man, they don't even leave the nest( what are they born in anyway) w/o knowing the three parts of a human body the bleed the most
     
  11. steveig2

    steveig2 Elite Member

    criky those are deadlier n a croc :) thats cool i hand fed a squirrel once with a piece of popcorn nearly took my finger with it.
     
  12. jshrad

    jshrad Elite Member

    Great picture.
     
  13. SurvivorSteph

    SurvivorSteph Subscribed User Premium Member

  14. Bitis Gabonica

    Bitis Gabonica Elite Member

    LOL yep, looks nasty that one! :D

    Gotta love squirrels, i think they are adorable. Joe sees the grey ones as pests, since they have almost wiped out the red squirrels here, but they are still a beautiful animal. Absolutely adore the pic mkelleriu! :)
     
  15. Lyn'sSteve

    Lyn'sSteve Elite Member

    Zane .. are you NUTS (no punn intended), squirrels are very unpredictable! You are lucky it was just your hand .... take a closer look at your pic.

    Steven
     
  16. Ace

    Ace Elite Member

    We once had this Squirrel that would steal cotton out of out lawn chair and go hide it in his nest and my mom was so upset! She put the chair up and the lil squirrel was looking around for it! :D
     
  17. 311Style

    311Style Elite Member

    LOL great picture ~
     
  18. samantha

    samantha Elite Member

    http://www.chainreaction.com/squirrels.htm

    these are some things you might want to know, so you are prepared for the next attack.

    I never dreamed slowly cruising through a residential neighborhood could be so incredibly dangerous! Studies have shown that motorcycling requires more decisions per second, and more sheer data processing than nearly any other common activity or sport. The reactions and accurate decision making abilities needed have been likened to the reactions of fighter pilots! The consequences of bad decisions or poor situational awareness are pretty much the same for both groups, too.

    Occasionally, as a rider I have caught myself starting to make bad or late decisions while riding. In flight training, my instructors called this being "behind the power curve". It is a mark of experience that when this begins to happen, the rider recognizes the situation, and more importantly, does something about it. A short break, a meal, or even a gas stop can set things right again as it gives the brain a chance to catch up.

    Good, accurate, and timely decisions are essential when riding a motorcycle...at least if you want to remain among the living. In short, the brain needs to keep up with the machine.

    I had been banging around the roads of east Texas and as I headed back into Dallas, found myself in very heavy, high-speed traffic on the freeways. Normally, this is not a problem, I commute in these conditions daily, but suddenly I was nearly run down by a car that decided it needed my lane more than I did. This is not normally a big deal either, as it happens around here often, but usually I can accurately predict which drivers are not paying attention and avoid them before we are even close. This one I missed seeing until it was nearly too late, and as I took evasive action I nearly broadsided another car that I was not even aware was there!

    Two bad decisions and insufficient situational awareness...all within seconds. I was behind the power curve. Time to get off the freeway.

    I hit the next exit, and as I was in an area I knew pretty well, headed through a few big residential neighborhoods as a new route home. As I turned onto the nearly empty streets I opened the visor on my full-face helmet to help get some air. I figured some slow riding through the quiet surface streets would give me time to relax, think, and regain that "edge" so frequently required when riding.

    Little did I suspect...... As I passed an oncoming car, a brown furry missile shot out from under it and tumbled to a stop immediately in front of me. It was a squirrel, and must have been trying to run across the road when it encountered the car. I really was not going very fast, but there was no time to brake or avoid it - it was that close.

    I hate to run over animals,...and I really hate it on a motorcycle, but a squirrel should pose no danger to me. I barely had time to brace for the impact.

    Animal lovers, never fear. Squirrels can take care of themselves! Inches before impact, the squirrel flipped to his feet. He was standing on his hind legs and facing the oncoming Valkyrie with steadfast resolve in his little beady eyes. His mouth opened, and at the last possible second, he screamed and leapt! I am pretty sure the scream was squirrel for, "Banzai!" or maybe, "Die you gravy-****ing, heathen scum!" , as the leap was spectacular and he flew over the windshield and impacted me squarely in the chest.

    Instantly he set upon me. If I did not know better I would have sworn he brought twenty of his little buddies along for the attack. Snarling, hissing, and tearing at my clothes, he was a frenzy of activity. As I was dressed only in a light t-shirt, summer riding gloves, and jeans this was a bit of a cause for concern. This furry little tornado was doing some damage!

    Picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a t-shirt, and leather gloves puttering maybe 25 mph down a quiet residential street --and in the fight of his life with a squirrel..... And losing.

    I grabbed for him with my left hand and managed to snag his tail. With all my strength I flung the evil rodent off the left of the bike, almost running into the right curb as I recoiled from the throw.

    That should have done it. The matter should have ended right there. It really should have. The squirrel could have sailed into one of the pristinely kept yards and gone on about his business, and I could have headed home. No one would have been the wiser.

    But this was no ordinary squirrel. This was not even an ordinary ****ed- off squirrel. This was an Evil Attack Squirrel Of Death! Somehow he caught my gloved finger with one of his little hands, and with the force of the throw swung around and with a resounding thump and an amazing impact he landed square on my back and resumed his rather anti-social and extremely distracting activities. He also managed to take my left glove with him!

    The situation was not improved. Not improved at all. His attacks were continuing, and now I could not reach him. I was startled to say the least. The combination of the force of the throw, only having one hand (the throttle hand) on the handlebars, and my jerking back unfortunately put a healthy twist through my right hand and into the throttle. A healthy twist on the throttle of a Valkyrie can only have one result. Torque. This is what the Valkyrie is made for, and she is very, very good at it.

    The engine roared as the front wheel left the pavement. The squirrel screamed in anger. The Valkyrie screamed in ecstasy. I screamed in...well I just plain screamed.

    Now picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a slightly squirrel torn t-shirt, and only one leather glove roaring at maybe 70 mph and rapidly accelerating down a quiet residential street...on one wheel and with a demonic squirrel on his back. The man and the squirrel are both screaming bloody murder.

    With the sudden acceleration I was forced to put my other hand back on the handlebars and try to get control of the bike. This was leaving the mutant squirrel to his own devices, but I really did not want to crash into somebody's tree, house, or parked car. Also, I had not yet figured out how to release the throttle; my brain was just simply overloaded. I did manage to mash the back brake, but it had little affect against the massive power of the big cruiser.

    About this time the squirrel decided that I was not paying sufficient attention to this very serious battle (maybe he is a Scottish Attack Squirrel Of Death), and he came around my neck and got IN my full-face helmet with me. As the faceplate closed partway and he began hissing in my face I am quite sure my screaming changed tone and intensity. It seemed to have little affect on the squirrel however.

    The rpms on The Dragon maxed out (I was not concerned about shifting at the moment) and her front end started to drop.

    Now picture the large man on the huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a very ragged torn t-shirt, and wearing one leather glove, roaring at probably 80 mph, still on one wheel, with a large puffy squirrel's tail sticking out his mostly closed full-face helmet. By now the screams are probably getting a little hoarse.

    Finally I got the upper hand...I managed to grab his tail again, pulled him out of my helmet, and slung him to the left as hard as I could. This time it worked...sort-of. Spectacularly sort-of, so to speak.

    Picture the scene. You are a cop. You and your partner have pulled off on a quiet residential street and parked with your windows down to do some paperwork.

    Suddenly a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a torn t-shirt flapping in the breeze, and wearing one leather glove, moving at probably 80 mph on one wheel, and screaming bloody murder roars by and with all his strength throws a live squirrel grenade directly into your police car.

    I heard screams. They weren't mine this time... I managed to get the big motorcycle under directional control and dropped the front wheel to the ground. I then used maximum braking and skidded to a stop in a cloud of tire smoke at the stop sign at a busy cross street.

    I would have returned to fess up (and to get my glove back). I really would have. Really. But for two things. First, the cops did not seem interested or the slightest bit concerned about me at the moment. One of them was on his back in the front yard of the house they had been parked in front of and was rapidly crabbing backwards away from the patrol car. The other was standing in the street and was training a riot shotgun on the police cruiser.

    So the cops were not interested in me. They often insist to "let the professionals handle it" anyway. That was one thing. The other? Well, I swear I could see the squirrel, standing in the back window of the patrol car among shredded and flying pieces of foam and upholstery, and shaking his little fist at me. I think he was flipping me the finger...

    That is one dangerous squirrel. And now he has a patrol car! I took a deep breath, turned on my turn-signal, made an easy right turn, and sedately left the neighborhood.

    As for my easy and slow drive home? Screw it. Faced with a choice of 80 mph cars and inattentive drivers, or the evil, demonic Attack Squirrel Of Death... I'll take my chances with the freeway. Every time.

    And I'll buy myself a new pair of gloves.
     
  19. geckoguy14

    geckoguy14 Elite Member

    omg, those squirrels are nothing compared to humming birds. Lots of ppl see them as cute, sweet, innocent little birds..........UNTIL THEY ATTACK! In the summer time, i sit out on the swing and watch them drink from the feeder, but when you get in their way, they will plow right into you! it's kinda funny, until they stick their sharp little beak into you! lol jk, sry this was a little off topic but i had to say that :)
     
  20. samantha

    samantha Elite Member

    i havent had a hummingbird actually hit me, i have had them zoom by like a centimeter away, like on the cartoons where it takes off the top of their hair....as for geting hit by birds.......4wheeler, nightime, fast, dont mix well with nature.....so im going probably 40 or 50 down a gravel rod at night, all of the sudden qa huge figure emerges right in front of me....i had no time to thin when all the the sudden i am smacked in the face full on by a huge owl, ,so i have a owl plastered to my face and the force of the collision, nearly threw me off the 4 wheeler which gave him oppourtunity to slide off my face and fly away satisfied he had nearly killed me.
    i watch the sky and the road now.
    also had butterflies smack me in tyhe eyes, while driving, they hurt at 50 mph....really bad......but whats worse is beetles the big flying green beetles, they bruise if you hit them at that speed.
     
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