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How to Kill an Anaconda

Discussion in 'Pythons *General*' started by GAGT, Jun 12, 2006.

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  1. GAGT

    GAGT Active Member

    I was on a retreat with my youth group this weekend and i heard this story from one of the kids there. it was so far-fetched that i had to post it. no wonder people hate snakes.

    "When you're sleeping in the dessert you have to be careful because anacondas will try to eat you. If an anaconda is trying to eat you remain completely still. They eat you from the feet first, I don't know why, but they always do. When the anaconda gets to your waist, slowly remove your knife (like you would be sleeping with a knife :rolleyes: ) and put it in its mouth. Slice the top of the mouth and the anaconda is dead."

    Uneducated people get on my nerves.
     
  2. Lyn

    Lyn Elite Member

    I thought anacondas were tropical snakes....hmmmmm Lyn
     
  3. Sean Boyd

    Sean Boyd Elite Member

    That is rude!! Andaconda's don't even live in the desert!
     
  4. mshrmheadcharge

    mshrmheadcharge Moderator Staff Member Premium Member

    Thats sick. Anacondas dont eat feet first, they go for the head..if hes gonna tell a retarded story like that he could atleast get that part rite, besides it would make for a better story. You see, after the anaconda swallows your head you gnaw your way out of his belly. Its the only way.
     
  5. KrokadilyanGuy3

    KrokadilyanGuy3 Elite Member

    That must be better than being chased down by a coachwhip and then constricted to death..
     
  6. Merlin

    Merlin Administrator Staff Member Premium Member

    Yes siree bob! Them dad blamed desert anacondas are worse that the ones that live in the swamps!
    They are almost as bad as those arctic snow pythons!:rolleyes: :p
     
  7. rbl

    rbl MacGyver in real life

    Don't get me started on the artic snow pythons! Did you know they used to be the antartic snow pythons but they migrated because moles learned to play dead and then they eat them from inside out? Not to mention they pooped on their belly and made them halitosis :rolleyes:
     
  8. DarkMagician207

    DarkMagician207 Elite Member

    wow.....next time i'm sleeping in a desert and see an anaconda swallowing my ankles i'll be sure to do that... :rolleyes: :p
     
  9. karamu8201

    karamu8201 Elite Member

    That story sounds like a cheesy IceCube and J-Lo sequel:

    ANACONDA 3: Dessert Survival.

    Ya gotta love ignorant people, heh! :)
     
  10. Dawg

    Dawg Elite Member

    as they say ignorance is bliss
     
  11. Moshpitrockchick

    Moshpitrockchick Subscribed User Premium Member

    So, who would win in a fight, a desert anaconda, a snow python, or Chuck Norris? ;)
     
  12. aiden_punx

    aiden_punx Elite Member


    What kinda question is that :eek: Chuck norris all the way.
     
  13. Brittone05

    Brittone05 Elite Member

    Well all I can say is I am thankful we don't have desserts in England lmao
     
  14. Moshpitrockchick

    Moshpitrockchick Subscribed User Premium Member

    Even if the snow python and a very lost desert anaconda met up with him in the -40 degree weather that we all know snow pythons are so fond of?
     
  15. mshrmheadcharge

    mshrmheadcharge Moderator Staff Member Premium Member

    Id put my money on the snow anaconda
     
  16. KrokadilyanGuy3

    KrokadilyanGuy3 Elite Member

    The anaconda would eat Chuck's legs so he wouldn't be able to round house kick either one. Without that, he's powerless.
     
  17. Queen 'O Green

    Queen 'O Green Elite Member

    I also put my vite with the snow python. The anaconda aparently only gets you when you are asleep... so what would happen is that Chuck would fall asleep, the anaconda would eat his legs and the python would jump in while it was consuming, thus vulnerable, and eat them both! MUUAHAHAHA!!!!

    Such things do cause one to wonder... where do these stories come from? Someone probably saw some poor rattlesnake sunning, freaked out and looked for pictures online... saw some random blurry shots of a baby anaconda and thought "Oh my gosh! It's totally the same thing!" Then they told their friend, who's father read an article about anacondas eating people and decided to scare his kid by telling them snakes eat from the feet because that is so much scarrier than the other way around... So he told the kids, who tell other kids, who tell their parents, who panic and call some random wildlife "specialist" who makes up something about cutting at the mouth because he has never heard of a dessert anaconda and is too lame to look it up.

    And thus the urben legend is born.
     
  18. Merlin

    Merlin Administrator Staff Member Premium Member

    LOL! Around here there are only 3 types of snakes! And all are DEADLY POISON!
    if its is by the water it's a water moccassin.
    If its in the leaves it's a copperhead.
    If its in the rocks it's a rattlesnake!:rolleyes:

    I guess if it's in rocks by the water it would be a hybrid,..
    a rattle moccasin!
     
  19. Moshpitrockchick

    Moshpitrockchick Subscribed User Premium Member

    Atleast you have Rattle Moccasins, Merlin! We just have those nasty Red Eared Sliders that will bite your feet off if you touch the bottom of the river while you are swimming....
     
  20. mshrmheadcharge

    mshrmheadcharge Moderator Staff Member Premium Member

    You think thats bad?? Here in VA weve got these evil ring necked snakes, if youre walking through the woods and one happens to spot you it glides-all the way from the ground onto your neck and strangels you to death. Its dangerous business walking out your front door with all these amazing new species of super herps!!!
     
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