The Mysteries Of Traveling With A Sulcata Tortoise


This is the story of our encounter of rescuing and traveling with an African spur thighed sulcata tortoise. We found out that at an in state reptile rescue a sulcata tortoise just came in and needed a home.

Wellllll....I wasted no time in convincing my wife Michelle, that we should get this little baby and give her a good home. We were told that speedy loves to sit in your lap and give kisses.....awww ain't that nice.

Anyone ever realize how big a 35 lbs tortoise is and how it could fit in your lap? Not to mention how it will fit into your car?

I didn't, not at first. I figured if others could do it, so could I.

We did look online and found out all we could about the sulcata tortoise and were aware of what we we're getting into.........Right.

First the trip was going to be nearly two hours up and two hours back. This should have been a warning in itself. We met with the rescue and after exchanging necessary information, fees, etc., we were introduced to speedy. Later we had to rename him to Miss Speedy. He was a she.

Boy were we happy to get speedy.

Ok, she was a little bigger than I thought and we were driving a small compact car.

It would have been better if I had a refrigerator sitting in my lap.

She just looks big in the car I thought. Michelle decided that she better drive and for me to hold Speedy.

Little did I know I was to get the better end of the whole ordeal.

Also the rescue didn't tell us about speedy's habits! Wasn't that nice of them.

We're off! Miss Speedy was a little squirmy sitting on my lap on her new blanket facing Michelle so I turned her around hoping the view would settle her a bit.

It did and we were happy driving her home. Being new to a tortoise we couldn't help notice that the odor was not unlike that of an elephant. How prophetic those words were going to be.....and

Somewhere during this trip, which was going to take 2 hours getting back home things were beginning to emerge.

Now picture this, your sitting in a small compact car with a center stick shift console and a 35 lb tortoise's butt aimed at you the driver.

Did you ever see a horse pee, well that's nothing compared to a tortoise. I looked at my wife as she was driving and at the same time Miss Speedy let loose a stream that would make Niagara Falls proud.

It shot out across the console and into Michelle's lap covering her, the console, the steering wheel and the drivers door.

As we stared at speedy all I could do was hand Michelle the only paper towel I had, that's right one sheet. I tried desperately not to grin or laugh, because I felt my life depended on it.

Shortly after that incident Michelle lets out a scream of... OHHH my God! That's disgusting.

Who saw the movie alien when the monster popped out.

Well this was the monster of all poops and it was coming out and rolling down onto the stick shift. We made a hasty bee line for the emergency lane and pulled to a stop. After cleaning up a little and disposing of, what looked like elephant poop we continued on.

Did I mention Elephant?

How many time's does a tortoise poop?

Sounds like a trick question right. Well let me tell you she shined on that subject and again she was producing a sizable poop that would put an elephant to shame. This time it rolled into Michelle's lap. Not once but twice. Let me tell you that Michelle wasn't too happy right now and again we had to stop and clean up.

How long does it take a sulcatta to become stressed, another trick question, no we just didn't think about this one.

Now after evacuating her bowels we felt relieved, did I say relieved, ouch!! Speedy got nervous and began to have diahhrea in the direction of the driver. Not once but several times.

Right about now Michelle was not a happy camper.

Tortoise poop not only looks, but smells worse than an elephant and we couldn't open the windows since it was too cold for her and she would get a respiratory infection.

That car was definitely a place for a "stick up" deodorizer.

Ten minutes later we made it to my mother-in-laws house which is about 40 minutes away from where we live and we were so glad to get there. We cleaned up the car and gave Miss Speedy a rest before going home.

Miss speedy was on the floor in my Mother-in-Laws kitchen and was looking around my mother in laws house. I thought now is the time for revenge....hee, hee, heee.

She didn't do a d**n thing.

Miss Speedy got to her new home and is sharing a room with our large red tegu, whom she likes to try and bully around. No, Miss Speedy can't get a hold of the tegu. She's behind a movable fence that she can move around behind.

Their happy, I'm happy and Michelle is still giving me dirty looks.

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Here's a post note on those who want to own a sulcata tortoise that can not only dig tunnels so you can drive a car through but can also go through your plaster board wall if they have a mind to.

They can get over 100 lbs., will live longer than you, can eat you out of house and home, they will eat their own poop, they can break your ankle or leg by bumping into you, are continuous eating machines if you let them, did I mention they will eat their own poop if they can't find anything else.

So do you really want one or could care for one????

Their cute as heck as babies, but baby they are gonna get really big & heavy.

Still want one ...... WELL!!!! ARE YOU CRAZY.


We had baby for a few months and then I was stricken with Gillian-Barre Syndrome, which left me very week and slightly paralyzed. During that time I also suffered two strokes and had to have a filter put near my heart to prevent any blood clots from entering the heart.

I could no longer care for "Miss Speedy". We were able to find an excellent home for her with another sulcata tortoise and to live happily in a good surrounding.

I miss her badly, but I know she is well cared for and better off at her new home.



Bob/stano40 and Michelle Stano

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Thanks For Reading My Post

bob/stano40

Have I read this on another site? Or have you posted this before? I swear I have read this story, but it still makes me laugh everytime I read it! '

I do get the whole compact car thing. I moved Oscar in a small truck that was a 5 speed all by myself,, he was 24 pounds at the time. I couldnt tell you how many times I had to pull over and re position him because he kept knocking it out of gear. By the time I got home I was exhausted! I felt like I had been wrestling a sumo wrestler for two hours. I get the diahrrea too, lol YUCK!
I think that is an excellent VERY TRUE story!

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I have sucker tattood on my forehead

LOL!!! That's a GREAT STORY (Sorry, Michelle).

We (really meaning my mother) have 6, yes SIX, sulcatas. All have been rescues. The first two came home in a "Wells Cargo" type trailer, two others came home in a U-Haul trailer (6 hour trip from L.A. to Central California). That's what you do when you get them full grown and near 100 pounds!

But then Mom got smart and had Dad build a "tortoise traveler" for her CADILLAC. He built a platform that lays on the back seat and has support legs where one's feet go. The torts are free to roam about the back seat without getting caught or stuck AND without pooping on humans!

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~~Steph

"This I believe: That the free, exploring mind of the individual human is the most valuable thing in the world." John Steinbeck

I realize that it probably wasn't very funny at the time,...
but you had me busting a gut laughing!

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Merlin,
What's Life Without A Little Magic!

What a story! I was laughing so hard my family is wondering whats going on. LOL
I am sure it wasnt funny at the time.
*wipes away tears*

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Just because you have an animal that isnt dead doesnt mean you know how to take care of it

hahahahaha

I do want a sulcata at some point, but not until I live in an area where they can be left outside year round.

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My name is Liz
Do what's best for the animal, not what's best for you.