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The Friday News and World Report
Thrall FD, Wilco Deputy, Wilco Animal Control, Texas Wildlife, Texas Game Warden, who else can they call? Ring, ring. "Hi. This is Thrall PD. Can you come out...?"
Well we found the last caiman. It's in a tank behind the across-the-road neighbor's house. I went. It was. But a tank in Texas is different than a tank in New York. I'm looking for a little troth that we can dump the water out of, turn sideways and grab the darn animal.
Not so much.
A "tank" in Texas is a frackin lake. Eight feet deep on the end. Five feet in the middle. 150 feet long and 50 across the center, if it's a foot. Moss and sludge and mud and muck at every edge. Ivy and sumac and oak everywhere, some of it not so benign. Snake rescuers and firemen and cops and me and my two younger boys, all for naught.
Finally, I set a live trap out and baited it with fajita meat. Maybe the caiman will turn out to be Central American?
If that don't get it in a day or two we'll have to take a john boat (another term I was unfamiliar with until today) out in the tank at night and eye shine her; and go from there. The good news is that the neighbor's biggest problem is not the caiman attacking her pets, it's the seven water moccasins we counted while we were sliding in the sludge.
So we head over to get a drink and go back to the property, and FoxNews7 calls and wants to take a look. And while they're there interviewing and taping, up comes the Game Warden. Out walks Officer Turk and he says, "Hi. We met about four years ago in Leander....."
I can go home and eat; relax in front of the TV; and get to bed early tonight.
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