My friend and I have birthdays on the 2nd and 3rd of July. she is having a party for the two of us on June 28th and is inviting all our friends. Its been planned for at least 2 months.

My grandmother is going into surgery on June 18th. My aunt will be there from the 17th - 23rd, and then my mom the 22nd - July 1. My mom asked me if I wanted to go up and keep her company and help out with grandma.

My grandmother lives in Minneapolis. If I were to go with my mom I would miss the party. Now, my grandmother may or not be in a nursing home during this time, we have no way of knowing. She is having calcium deposits removed from between 2 vertebra and will be in rehab for a while, but no one knows how long. If she is in the nursing home, there is really no point in me going. If she is home, my mom could probably use the help. If she is in the nursing home, I'll probably be bored out of my skull.

I don't know what to do. My grandma is 91 and healthy as on ox. Before this happened she was doing things like power washing the driveway and planting shubs in the garden. She drives, cooks, throws dinner parties and does everything else for herself.

Part of me things I should hold off and go the next time my mom goes, when grandma isn't laid up.

Thoughts?

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My name is Liz
Do what's best for the animal, not what's best for you.

Thats a tough one.
Just my thoughts based on my grandmother being about that age. However mine is in rapidly declining health.
Your grandmother is 91 years old. A lot of things can happen at that age and there are no guarantees in life. It comes down to deciding whether its more important to go to the party or to go see her.

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Merlin,
What's Life Without A Little Magic!

I just wish seeing her was for a healthy visit. I saw her about a year and a half ago, when the big snowstorm hit in Buffalo and she was just great. In order to do the surgery she had to do a series of stress tests and she came back with a heart 15 years younger than her!

I'm thinking of talking to my mom and seeing what grandma has planned for Christmas or Thanksgiving. Maybe I'll choose to go then instead. I want to help my mom out and see my grandma but I really don't think its going to be any quality time. I'd almost rather spend the $400 on a plane ticket and the 4 days off from work, when I can actually do something with her.... and I'm feeling guilty over this.

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My name is Liz
Do what's best for the animal, not what's best for you.

Now ask yourself how you will feel if something happens and you didn't go.

I have made visits to relatives who, due to the illnesses, didn't even know who I was!
Not a very pleasant visit, but when their time to pass came, I knew that at least I had been there for them.

I understand that this is a tough call. No one can make the decision for you.

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Merlin,
What's Life Without A Little Magic!

Call your grandma and get her opinion. You know at that age they are honest as **** and she will tell you straight up what to do. It is a tough call and I honestly done have an answer.

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MARSHA

:D I'm smiling because I have no idea whats going on!

ugh.

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My name is Liz
Do what's best for the animal, not what's best for you.

I was actually going to suggest the same thing as Marsha. And maybe even go as far as getting your Mom in on the conversation as well. Let them know its not just about missing the party (which can be thrown anytime) but also about what kind of time you want to spend with her.

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I have talked to my mom about this and she has told me that it probably wont be quality time and my grandma also said the same thing. They would both understand if I didn't make it. So really its just my own decision on this one.

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My name is Liz
Do what's best for the animal, not what's best for you.

On a lighter note, since its my bday to, Ill go to the party for you .

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MARSHA

:D I'm smiling because I have no idea whats going on!

If you come up, then I'll have a really good excuse not to go

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My name is Liz
Do what's best for the animal, not what's best for you.